FAQ

Why is the sky blue?
This question is indeed a frequently asked one. It's a question as old as time itself. Don't quote me on this, but I think it's because of Smurfs.

Do you know the way to San Jose?
Off the top of my head, no. But you can Google it here: http://goo.gl/XxHmVd

Do you think this comedy thing will really go anywhere?
Look, Mom, it's not like I quit my day job. I'm still employed, this is just something I'm experimenting with. Like drugs or toys that weren’t made for the butt, but they fit. 

a train leaves Dallas heading for New York CITY at 120 miles per hour and, at the same time, a second train leaves New York CITY, heading for Dallas at 80 mph. If Dallas and New York are 1540 miles apart, how long will it take the trains to cross paths?
7.7 hours. 

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?
Interestingly, everyone has the same exact amount of time on their hands; some of us just choose to spend that time writing strange FAQs.

What are the saddest of the birds?
Chickens. And it's not just because they have wings and can't fly. It's mostly because those very same wings are so damned delicious.

If you could have a beer with any person, living or dead, who would you choose? 
The dead person, probably. That would be kinda freaky and also they wouldn't expect much in the way of conversation on account of their being dead.

No, I mean who specifically?
Oh, gotcha. I guess Jesus, maybe? I have some questions I'd love to ask him. Deep shit, really. Although I'm betting he's more of a wine guy than a beer guy, isn't he? Maybe he’s not a good choice. I don't want to sit there for hours listening to him complain about how next time we need to go to a wine bar.

If you wrote a movie about a guy who loved beer and also could jump really high, what would it be called?
Hops.

What is the square root of 156?
It's not a perfect square, but the answer is 12.489995996796797.

You mentioned Smurfs earlier. Do you ever wonder if they taste as good as Gargamel seems to think they might? Because I don't think they'd taste all that good. Powder blue is such an unappetizing color. 
I ask myself this question more than you would think. I'm guessing they're not tasty at all. If anything, I think you'd need to cook them slow and low, like short ribs. Probably more trouble than they would be worth.